"Is this even mine?" is one of the single most powerful question to ask yourself when dealing with a narcissist.
Narcissists are known for using psychological projection as a defense mechanism, unconsciously denying their own negative traits, impulses, and emotions and instead attributing them to others.
As a survivor of narcissistic abuse, it can be easy to take on these projections, leading to a wide range of negative emotions and feelings such as guilt, shame, self-doubt, worthlessness, anger, confusion, invalidation, most often leading to complete exhaustion.
But by asking yourself "Is this even mine?" you can begin to separate yourself from the narcissist's toxic behaviour and regain control over your own thoughts and emotions.
It's a way to identify when you have been influenced by the narcissist's manipulation or when you are truly expressing your own thoughts and feelings.
You can ask this question out loud, in your mind, or just set the intention. Some people like to use physical movements, such as tapping their foot or snapping their fingers, to solidify the intention to release what is not theirs. Others may find singing a song in their head helps.
Have you heard of the Elvis Presley song "Return to Sender?"
Return to sender, address unknown! That's exactly what we want the projections to do.
Whatever feels right for you is ok, the important thing is that you are setting the intention to release anything that does not belong to you. By doing this, you are asking your body to "return to sender" anything that feels like a heaviness, anything that feels like a judgement and any negative thoughts, emotions and beliefs that your body has perceived as its own, that doesn't truly belong to you.
Can you see how powerful this can be?
This process can help you gain control of your own thoughts and emotions, instead of being controlled by the projections of the narcissist.
Give it a try every time the Narcissist tries to tell you that you are anything less than the beautiful person you are and amaze yourself with how much you can shift and create space and freedom within!
Kylie xo
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